I’d want to free myself. Yeah I am free.. as in not dealing with any relationship or what not. But then I’m suffocating myself and stressing myself out because of the people that comes into my life and they become something to it. 

For the rest of summer, I dealt with some situations I didn’t plan to get into. As I wanted to free myself, it ended to be a struggle for me. I got tangled up with my emotions. I wanted to meet new people and I did, one of them became something to me.. but not that kinda something that I was kinda happy about. As I planned to after the relationship I got out almost 3 months ago, I planned to focus only to myself, keep my emotions controlled to avoid whatever nonsense comes through. Yes I became pretty cold. But why is that? it’s because I am darn tired of dealing with guys and whatever they bring to me to make me happy to a hell state. During this month I’ve felt unreadable messages through my emotions. People that meant something to me gave  me the impact to think about the “What if’s”. This one person made me think of alot of what ifs.. but I don’t wanna bother anymore. I don’t wanna think..If I don’t do anything God will make his way if it’s really meant to be on that way. I’m just scared that people will get hurt because of me. I’ve had, and I don’t want to anymore. I just wished that I had that skill to have a solution to every problem I try to solve. But of course you will just have enough strategy to solve it. So I guess.. so be it.